3rd - 5th July

Mike Ireland (veteran seamer and occasional funky tweaker) has arranged an excursion to Bournemouth ("oh we do like to be beside the seaside..") this year. Your finalised teams (injuries permitting) and their captains are...

Friday

Bindon Engineering - 6:00

Saturday

Hinton Admiral - 2:00

Sunday

Pylewell Park - 2:30

Richard Jones

"Gents, Apologies for the tardiness of my report. After lunch in a Lymington pub (where we met a Barford resident!) we made our way to the Pylewell estate and its beautiful cricket pitch, being tended to by Dennis the assiduous groundsman who gave us a brief history of the club. Next stop was The Old Vicarage Hotel where the lovely Holly served some ale and guided us to the garden that houses Hinton Admiral's ground. The pavilion houses part of the balcony from Hampshire's pre-Rosebowl Northlands Road ground (in the photo below you can see the chairman's variation on testing the pitch with a key).

The Ramada is a typical modern business hotel which was hosting a group of very young, very blond alcopop reps (I'm sure Erdsy's radar picked it up in Leeds). This seems to reflect the Bournemouth bar scene with lots of Yates / O'Neill's themed pubs (and a pole dancing club that didn't appear to be open) prevalent, so after failing to find a decent watering hole we dined at a good but pricey Italian bistro and headed back to base for a pint of keg something.

The following morning we decided that even though there didn't appear to be any 'proper' pubs and The Ramada couldn't do us a meal on the Saturday it was still a decent enough choice of hotel so I went to make the reservation. 'Sorry, fully booked that weekend with two other touring teams and a golf society' was the response, 'Try our sister hotel 5 minutes round the corner'. As we arrived at Marsham Court we realised we had a result. Beautiful terraced gardens, swimming pool, revolving doorway that will test the tall people returning at 2.00am, charming old fashioned decor...'Mike they've got no cask ale' shouted the chairman who had gone for a wander and found the bar. The manageress informed me that they would get in real ale if we wanted but only if we drank the whole barrel-answers on a postcard please.

Anyway the outcome is two pretty grounds and a top hotel (and I'm awaiting a call back from a Friday night game request I made this morning) so things are looking good. Thanks to Timmsy for all the driving. Mike"

Tour Update

By general consensus this was the best Barford tour of recent years with the combination of a fine hotel, a selection of delightful grounds and opposition and good weather ensuring a veritable carnival of criggit. Luckily recent e-mail correspondence seems to indicate that we might be invited back next year too...

Pictures from the tour have finally been released (well most of them anyway!) and can be found courtesy over Mr Henderson here and other assorted paps here.

Match Reports

As in previous years unadultered match reports from the skippers can be found below, at least when they've finally got around to penning them.

Bindon Engineering vs Barford

Friday 3rd July, 6:00 pm start, unless your name is Nathan Haynes, in which case it’s a 6:30 pm start. Captain for Barford XI Phil Morris (WHO???)

Unbeknown to our opponents Bindon Engineering (only one of whom works for them) Phil Morris made his eagerly? anticipated? and long? awaited? debut as skipper for the mighty “Hares” and lulled them in to a false sense of insecurity.

It all began very promisingly. Richard Jones fell out of Tony Timms Land-Rover and relieved himself in a nearby hedge. Or did he fall out of a nearby hedge and relieve himself in Tony Timms’ Land-Rover? It’s all a little hazy now. BUT….the scorebook doesn’t lie (unless the scorer has had a few) and therein lies the following tale.

Morris won the toss and elected to ask Chris O’Reilly what to do. Chris O’Reilly suggested we might like to make them run-around the field in the hot weather and so we elected to “have a bat”.

Having thought for weeks of the perfect batting order for such a firm pitch (Haynes – 1, Clarke – 2, Peirson – 3 etc.), Nathan Haynes went and stuffed it all up by dialling the wrong post code in to his sat nav and drove to Dorset via Devon. He eventually got his foot down though (there’s a first) and arrived just as the opening pair of Clarke and Peirson were walking down the steps of the pavilion. Like a coiled spring, Pierson is also around in the middle, which he wasn’t for very long. He batted elegantly for his seven though and got the team off to a flying anti-climax. Clarke meanwhile got his head down and so began an epic innings. By the time Pierson had his off stump removed by Lee, Clarke and Extras (thanks to Bindon’s kind selection of Stevie Wonder at Wicket Keeper) had added 58 more.

Haynes came next and he and Clarke set about them, finding the boundary on numerous occasions. Giddy with thoughts of a ton, Clarke mistimed a big one to long on (or was it deep mid-wicket, or it could have been at deep backward point) and was snaffled down the fielder’s throat for a splendid 72; 128 for 2.

Calling on O’Reilly, who strode confidently to the wicket, the scoreboard tickled along to 130 for 3. Tollerfield delivered one that tied the young “Conductor” in knots. The finger was raised milliseconds after trapping him as plumb as a mason’s line (well it looked like it from square leg anyway).

Seizing the moment, Haynes nurdled, nudged and cajoled his way to 22 before being clean bowled by one that might have nipped back (or it might not) – 131 for 4. Morris was more concerned about the run rate than wickets though and knocking them off from 17 balls was a mighty effort.

Romyn came in, twirling his bat like a majorette’s baton (maybe that’s where you’ve been going wrong Pete) and set about building a magnificent unbeaten 5. Cameo appearances at the other end came from Johnson (quack), Morris (one – count it!) and Timms, who, whilst suffering from vertigo owing to his number 8 batting position, obeyed the captain’s every order (at least someone did) and went for it like a good un!

The team scored a creditable 144 for 6 from their 20 overs, setting what was thought to be a challenging total for Bindon to chase.

Chase it they did though, like a greyhound after the hare. Despite a couple of tasty wickets from Tony “Slow Hand” Timms (4-0-41-2), a bit of dazzling turn from Mike “Twice a Year” Ireland (3.2-0-32-1) and the usual combination of straight uns, flippers, googlies and wrong uns from “Mushie” Jones (2-0-13-1), the lack of swing and seam deadened the otherwise impact bowling from pacemen Richard “Statto” Johnson and Simon “The Hawk” Hawkins.

141 arrived in just over sixteen overs. Morris brought the field in tight to save the singles. Bindon were the equal though and, facing Ireland’s unpredictable off-break, cuffed it to the leg side boundary. 145, and the match, was theirs.

Amongst other highlights in the field were Paul “Papparazzo” Henderson pacing around the leg-side boundary trying to attract the attention of an otherwise oblivious skipper to let him have a bowl (Having earlier told the skipper that he didn’t fancy it today as he didn’t have his spikes with him, Morris was taken aback to be told of the change of mind, 15 overs in (never trust a man with a telephoto lens.)), Sandy “the Wildebeest” Peirson and Pete “the Gnu” Romyn chasing around cow corner and long off saving runs like there wasn’t any tomorrow and Phil “fish out of water” Morris placing the field like a man who never remembers more than half of what he needs to. Still, 144 for 6 off 20 is pretty good for a Barford T20 XI. Roll on next year and the revenge of the tourists!

Thanks must go to un-sung heroes Hawkins, Jones and Ireland who never did have to sort out who went at number 9, keeper Haynes for a great stumping and O’Reilly for helpfully pointing out that one of the spectators had unfeasibly large assets!

Hinton Admiral v Barford

"A few spits and spots of rain greeted us at Hinton , and the Tall Persons clubbing group cricked their necks in the Cat and Fiddle but we made our way to the ridiculously quaint ground with an alarmingly short boundary which would come into play later.

Having consulted with the scorer (Paul) today's captain (Paul) went out to toss with the Hinton Admiral's counterpart (also called, yes you've guessed it, Paul). A tactical loss of the toss led to Barford being invited to bat in a time game, which suited openers Nathan Haynes and Richard Johnson down to the ground. Despite interruptions from Chris Prince adjusting the scoreboard behind the bowler's arm and Sandy Peirson running on with the Telegraph, they put on an opening partnership of 78 seeing off the opening bowlers until Richard was out for 17. Pete Fisher picked up where Richard left off compiling more and more runs as Nathan slowly upped the pace passing 50 then past his inevitable 100 in the sunshine.

With the score on 171 Pete was bowled for 33 bringing to the crease the previous day's hero Simon Clark. Sadly he couldn't repeat his heroics and was brought back down to earth with a duck as he unluckily holed out to a superb catch on the boundary off a full-blooded lofted drive, and Chris Prince was next into the fray.

Acceleration was the name of the game now with Prince and Haynes contributing sixes over the short boundary before Nathan was finally out for an excellent 130 it was your humble captain's turn to push on. As the clock ticked towards 4.30pm Chris made 17 and Paul 14, both falling trying to make the most of having wickets in hand. Battered and bruised Paul Johnstone was further battered and bruised by being hit from behind (on the arse - ed) from an attempted run-out and Martin Lilley smashed a four to get to a more than respectable total of 243...but would it be enough.

After tea at the hotel, all four results were possible and it was time to open the bowling with the demon tweeker and tour-meister Mike Ireland, who sent down a superb spell of quality off-spin bowling taking a wicket with the 3rd ball of the innings. The good start continued with Simon Hawkins (in front of a crowd that included Mr and Mrs Hawkins Sr) who snaffled another wicket in his first over caught by Paul Johnstone on the boundary off possibly the worst ball of the day.

However this brought the opposition captain to the crease and he was in no mood to give up the fight easily, pacing a superb innings almost to perfection. A rapid and hostile burst from first change bowler Tim Jolly and another wicket from Martin Lilley restrained Hinton Admiral but the short boundary remained an ominous presence.

After the drinks interval, Hinton Admiral began their assault with their captain striking a brilliant century, with an equally impressive 50 coming from the other end in support. Despite rotating the bowlers everyone seemed to suffer with new balls, old balls and replacement balls disappearing into the trees as the pursuit at the rate of 10-12 runs per over was maintained.

With 5 overs to go the ball was tossed to Richard Johnson who bowled accurately, keeping the run-rate down. 4 to go and the turning point came as Tim Jolly returned for one last burst. He struck back taking the wicket getting the opposition centurion caught superbly on the boundary to a diving low catch by Mike Ireland. 3 to go and 11 come of Richard's second over – game still on. 2 to go and one of the biggest sixes of the match is struck off Tim's last over and a tense last over was still to be played out. But Richard managed a wicket with the first ball and Hinton Admiral could only make 235 drawing a brilliant game with a great opposition.

After such a good game it seems churlish to mention any other incidents but Richard Johnson did hilariously fall over the boundary in an attempt to find yet another disappearing ball, and Nathan's unusual exterior showering is the subject of a caption competition as we speak."

Pylewell Park vs Barford

The Barford team comprised Tony Timms(c), Sandy Peirson, Richard Jones, Peter Romyn, Tim Jolly, Paul Johnstone, Paul Henderson, Martyn Lilley, Peter Fisher, Chris O'Reilly and Phil Morris

With the late arrival of the “captain of the day” at a rather fine public house in Lymington, on a sunny Sunday afternoon the team made its way to the Pylewell estate and its beautiful cricket ground.  Winning the toss, Barford elected to bat and sent out club skipper Chris O’Reilly and Paul Henderson to open our account.  Sitting back to admire the amount of canned lager that can be consumed by two ardent tourists and some fine batting by our openers one could only dream that this is what touring is all about.  After amassing an extraordinary number of runs, skip was finally dismissed for an excellent 17 but the imperious Henderson continued on his majestic way to score a brilliant 59.   

Wickets then began to tumble in that unusual Barfordian way, some in strange ways, but tumble they did with both Peirson and Jones reaching double figures before succumbing until that most able of batters, Tim Jolly approached the crease.  His hitting, no, smashing of the Pylewell bowlers to the boundary was superb as he reached an admirable 14 until the last man wasn’t standing.  Barford ended their innings on a creditable 166 with one ball remaining.

The opposition came in to bat and, with Jones and Henderson opening the bowling runs did not come easily.  After four meagre overs apiece the attack changed to Messrs Johnstone bowling his offies and Lilley blasting them with his quickies.  The opposition however was not really troubled by the initial slow scoring rate as when the bowling changed again, they began to push on.  Tim Jolly held the run rate at one end taking two good wickets off his five overs but Timms let the opposition score freely to come close to the Barford total in fine style. The last over, bowled by that most able cricketer, Mr Peter Romyn saw the opposition pass the Barford total with a few overs in hand ending on 169 for 3 wickets…

In summary this was a game played against a team of superior ability but in fine spirit and Barford did well to give them a decent target to aim at.  Let’s look forward to next years tour and hope for a better result.

Tour Highs & Lows

Highs

The set up (and ladies) at Hinton Admiral
The hotel (especially for the chosen few with sea views-Paul Henderson has photos for those staying in steerage!)
The weather!!!
The Dundas Arms in Kintbury-great place to stop for lunch on the way down
Erdsy suggesting getting some cans for the Pylewell game-and returning with a case of 24
The Red Arrows once again marking a Barford tour with a fly-by
Numerous jugs of beer from Fonzie Clark after stockpiling them
Nathan and his long hose!
Sandy receiving a phonecall and wondering WHICH of his companies it was from
Erdsy upsetting the young girls watching at Pylewell by telling them that 'Up north we eat dogs'
Some nutter wandering into our restaurant on Sunday night, hurling abuse at us, then casually leaving

Lows

Bournemouth's lack of decent pubs
Chris Prince not completing what looked destined to be a comedy hedge jump routine
The pungent O'Reilly fromage
Phil's sartorial obsession with pink
The dreadful Harvester at Hinton
The chairman STILL insisting on drinking Campari